An ode to the maasha

I liberated this survey from my boss lady Timmi, it's all about my mom. I asked my sister to answer the questions as well:


1. What does your mom always say to you?
Emi: bat rastard....just kidding
Molly: It's the maasha, call the maasha (on messages she leaves on my cell phone)

2. What makes mom happy?
Emi: a clean house and yankee candles lol
Molly: when her children do the dishes, Isaac, visiting me and my dogs, my columns

3. What makes mom sad?
Emi: when dad picks his teeth with a steak knife at the table YIKES
Molly: butt twisties

4. What does your mom do that makes you laugh?
Emi: watching her try to talk sense into chad and dad when they're being dumb
Molly: when she accidentally says "bat rastard" instead of "rat bastard" or when we are in the dressing room at Mervyn's and she thinks she is going to pee her pants we are laughing so hard

5. What was your mom like as a child?
Emi: I'm pretty sure she was a hippie child
Molly: she was a glorious ice skater

6. How old is your mom?
Emi: 53 years young
Molly: old enough to be my mom

7. How tall is your mom?
Emi: 5'5
Molly: 5'5, the perfect height, if I do say so myself (I'm 5'5 too)

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Emi: be home NOT at work
Molly: sit in her garden with a glass of wine after a dinner of Noi's

9. What does your mom do when you’re not around?
Emi: celebrate cus the 'parents' are gone
Molly: I'm never around, so basically she does everything

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
Emi: her poetry
Molly: the book we're going to write together, a book featuring a collection of her poetry

11. What is your mom really good at?
Emi: listening, cooking, gardening, poetry, kids
Molly: triangulating (ha ha), listening, organizing my house and making me delicious cesear wraps for lunch


12. What is your mom NOT very good at?
Emi: shes good at everything
Molly: painting (I get my sweet skills from her unfortunately---have you seen my ceiling?), flying on airplanes

13. What does your mom do for her job?
Emi: therapist intern
Molly: she tells kids it's ok to feel what they're feeling and helps them have a better life

14. What is your mom’s favorite food?
Emi: going out to eat.
Molly: Noi's, tomato pie, southern ham biscuits from Bojangles, wine (hey, it's made from grapes)

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
Emi: she went back to school
Molly: she is doing a job she loves

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Emi: marge simpson
Molly: marge simpson

17. What do you and your mom like to do together?
Emi: 'safety meetings'
Molly: visit Jacksonville thrift stores, go shopping, drink wine

18. How are you and your mom the same?
Emi: i wish i could be more like her...
Molly: we are the same height and wear the same shoe size, we are "wordsmiths," we hate math, we enjoy wine

19. How are you and your mom different?
Emi: shes' punctual and early for everything
Molly: she's like a modern hippy and I like all things pink and girly, I love makeup

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
Emi: she's living like the waltons for me
Molly: I can call her anytime and she will answer and listen to me, she's paying for my student loans

21. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go?
Emi: beach house bistro
Molly: Noi's, Beach House Bistro, my backyard, her backyard

22. Where is your mom’s LEAST favorite place to go?
Emi: the grocery store
Molly: an airplane