Cosmo Commandments

Every month Cosmo prints a list of "Commandments" for every gal to abide by, to ensure she remains a classic cosmo girl. This months commandments are "10 Things you must NEVER do in front of your guy"...intrigued, I read on.

Maybe my relationship with my husband is out of the ordinary, maybe we are just really comfortable with eachother, maybe its something about having real intimacy...or maybe I just don't care...I'm not really sure, but several of these so-called commandments had me second guessing myself.

NEVER-

Commandment #2
Come to bed wearing that homemade avocado,honey and granola face mask you read about

So when you're with your guy apparently you aren't supposed to continue caring about your skin, or yourself and be afraid that he might freak out when you come to bed looking anything less than movie star perfect. I mean seriously...if he is really "your guy" you should be able to look like shit in front of him and he should still love you for it.

Commandment #7
Poop with the door open

Ok, so a lot of people might think this crosses the line...personally, I could give a rats armpit. I feel like the unspoken rule at our house is, if the door is closed, I'm pooping. But sometimes I leave the door open so the dog can come in, or else she will just sit and scratch at the door. And sometimes, I will walk into the bathroom when my husband is pooping to get something and sometimes, heaven forbid...I might even go poop when he is IN the shower (and we have 2 other bathrooms) I mean seriously...whats the big issue here. If you ask me, if you can have sex with someone, you shouljd be able to poop in front of them...maybe I'm weird. Everyone poops, and guys know girls poop, so whats the big deal? Why must we keep up this facade of perfection with men...you can't have a true intimate and close relationship without crossing a few boundaries people.

Commandment #8
Pinch your butt cheek so it dimples up and scream "And you say I've got no cellulite. What do you call this chunk of orange peel?"

Now while I don't think this is something we all do on a regular basis, we are indeed allowed to find, notice, obsess over and in the end, point out our bodies imperfections. But what it comes down to is A. Your man probably doesnt even know what cellulite is and B. He could care less, he loves you the way you are. All women obsess about their bodies at one point or another in life and if he is truly going to be your man, he needs to learn to deal with it and scream back at you "well maybe i like oranges honey!"

So lets be real for once, live with reckless abandon, poop with the door open and wear your goopy mask, a true cosmo girl knows that her man would love her anyways.