Laughter is not an option

My job is like prison, prison for 5 year olds, I like to refer to my bosses as wardens. Yesterday I was called into the wardens office along with another girl who works in my room. After we were told to close the door the warden proceeded to say that he had been lax the past few months, but now he needed to address an issue...we are being too loud in our office/room. Ok, I will admit things can get rambunctious in here at times, but what he said next is completely ridiculous. He actually had the nerve to say that at 3:30 he heard us laughing, and our break is over at 3:15! So apparently we are allowed to laugh, but only during our break times...is he for real?!?! The warden also said that the other day when I was choking on some juice that went down the wrong pipe, that I was too loud. Oh pardon me, next time I am choking and trying to clear my throat and catch my breath, I'll try to be MORE QUIET!!!!!!!!!! This place is absolutely ridiculous. I can understand that if they had noticed my production decreasing etc for this level of ridicularity (yes im pretty sure i made that word up) but I am getting my work done and at the same time managing to half way enjoy myself at the office, apparently THAT is not an option. FYI, the name of my company is ValueOptions. What a bunch of hypocritial jackasses; they neither value their employees nor give many options! EAT IT!