Yesterday morning as I stepped out the back door and onto the lawn, making sure the dogs weren’t escaping out of the fence I was overcome with a feeling of adulthood. I have told people many times that I have a hard time considering myself a woman, part of me feels so weird referring to myself as such. I’m not quite sure why, at 25 I am definitely considered an adult and a woman.
I watched the dogs run free and was so happy that they were able to do so. People would ask me what I was most looking forward to in having my own home, and I always said I was excited for the dogs to have their own yard to run and play in. When I would hear myself saying this I got a small pang of that adulthood feeling because I was more concerned with the my dogs quality of life rather than my own.
Because Eddie’s school demanded so much time and attention from him I did most of legwork involved in getting the home loan. When we finally closed on the house I began the process of getting all the utilities set up at the new house and turned off at the condo. I hadn’t ever done that before. After I made all the calls and set up all the appointments I felt accomplished and proud. I guess around this time is when a little bit more of that adult feeling started seeping in.
Maybe part of the reason I have trouble considering myself adult is because I am STILL in school. Had I been in school and then gone back like my mother, obviously I would feel differently. However, I have been in school since I graduate high school. Granted, there were some gaps in attendance but the idea of going back was always there.
Who knows, maybe I won’t truly feel like an adult until I am in my first post-collegiate career. Or maybe, when we have our first visitors at our new house, or maybe when we are able to grill out in our back yard and invite the neighbors over for dinner. No matter what it is, I know that I am well on my way and even if I don’t feel adult until I’ve graduated at the age of 27 I suppose there’s no hurry because once I am an adult there’s no going back.
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Coming from a wise woman.. "I'm not a girl.. not yet a woman" - Brittany Spears
well.. she isn't all that wise.. but it is that time where things are still jumbled up and it is hard to deceipher whether or not you are still a student.. or more an adult.. i switch from one to the other ocnstantly. :)
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