validation

From the moment I started at The Daily News as an intern I felt I was on shaky ground. Having never taken a journalism class during my arduous college career I really had no idea what I was doing, or what to expect. I was even questioning if I had chosen the right career path. Did I really even like to write? I put off writing assignments in school until the very last minute and dreaded them for the most part. I have answered that question for myself recently when I realized that every time I see my byline in the paper, especially if it makes the front page, above the fold, I am proud. When someone asks me what I do for a living and I am able to tell them that I write for The Daily News, I am proud. I guess that means I DO like to write, even if i still have no idea how I managed to end up with this job.

During my last few semesters of college I really began questioning my ability to write. I wondered if I had merely slid by and tricked my professors into believing I could actually write. I was scared of the real world and how my writing would fare against the scrutiny of reality. I gained some confidence as I wrote more at the newspaper. The editors approved my work on a regular basis and passed it on for public review, so that meant I must be doing something right.

I took an essay writing class my last semester at UNCW. In it I discovered my own voice and a form of writing a really enjoyed. The personal essay format allowed me to be me and write in a very personal way. Until then, I had done very little personal writing outside of journaling and poetry. I embraced the style but more importantly, I embraced my voice.

Writing "hard" news doesn't leave much room for a writer's voice. Sure, each reporter writes differently and that comes across in our stories, but there isn't a lot of personality that shines through.

I was given a wonderful opportunity this past week at work and I am really excited. Our new city editor is still trying to feel out the duties and additional responsibilities that come with her position and as a result wanted a "buy" for her column this week. For no reason I can fathom, she asked me to make a guest appearance and write something up. We had several comedic conversations in the past about my Crocs, so she suggested I write about them. And I did. I submitted my column to her for editing and was more nervous than I have ever been because this was a whole new ball game. This was not going to be returned with a grade on how well I did my research or proved a point, this was all me and it felt very vulnerable.

My column is in today's paper. Even though the subject matter is light and funny, it is after all about brightly colored rubber shoes, I feel exposed. Anyone who picks up the paper today could read what I wrote. Will they laugh? Will they think it's boring? Whatever their judgement, it will be of me and my voice, not of facts or figures or quotes I wrangled. I wish I could be a fly on the wall in every house where someone reads my column. But I can't be. Instead, I have to realize that I'm proud of what I put out there and so excited to have my own voice out there. I can only hope that one person relates or finds what I have to say funny. I can only hope that I'm given the chance to put my voice out there again,because DAMN, it feels good.

Read my very first column here:
http://www.jdnews.com/articles/crocs_57474___article.html/time_home.html