Lightning and Thunder and Rain -- OH MY!

It's 5 a.m. and I'm awake. My alarm isn't set to go off until 7. It was a restless night to say the least, I think the thunder storm that seems like it has been going on all night is partly to blame. But I also think I'm a little anxious, like first day of school anxious, except it's almost my last day of school. It's like I can't wait to get to school and turn in the rest of my stuff and be done with it all and I want to do it RIGHT THIS SECOND!

Alas, I'm here instead.

I worked on an essay last night for my essay writing class (who woulda thunk it?). The essay had to be about culture -- our culture, someone else's culture, a way we have experienced culture etc. Initially I was at a loss for a topic because this white girl is lacking a lot of culture in her background, at least the kind that would be interesting enough to form a personal essay about. So I pondered, yes thats right, I pondered. I did more than think about it, I actually pondered it (which in case you didn't know takes WAY more time than just thinking about something.) And then there it was, a miracle! I would write about the military culture because it is indeed a culture in its own right.

I had trouble starting the essay because I felt like there was so much I could write about, but I didn't want this thing to be a million pages long but I needed to get all the important stuff in there that really helps shape the military culture. So I began to write. As much as I like to plan things out I don't really do that very well in writing creatively. I just have to write and get it out there and then wiggle it around afterwards.

I'm still not quite sure about the body of the essay, it definately needs some tweaking, I still feel llike I was rushing to say all that I needed to say while still keeping it short enough for an enjoyable and quick read. But the most important part, the end, the conclusion, the point of my essay is there. I didn't really know what that was going to be until I got there, and I have to say I like what came out. After I complained about deployments and the inability to plan things in advance and the jargon and and and I realized something. Something I already knew but I had never really thought about or put on paper. Despite all of the things that seem negative about military life and the culture that surrounds it I wouldn't have it any other way. Before I was inducted into this members only society I didn't get chills when the national anthem played and I didn't cry when I heard Taps. The overwhelming sense of pride in our Nation that I have felt since becoming involved with a Marine 6 years ago is immense. That alone is worth it for me. And that's not even all the Marine Corps has given me. Sure, not everyone can say they are proud each and every day of the job their husband does like I can, but more importantly not everyone can say that a job their husband does makes them proud of themselves. Before going through a recent year-long deployment I had never lived alone and didn't know how I was going to deal with being away from my husband for 13 months. But I got through it and came out a better person. I now know I can handle life on my own, I gained a sense of Independence I didn't even know I was missing. And as I said in my paper, even though my future is uncertain because of military life, one thing I am certain of is that becoming a part of the military culture has made me a better person.